A Man of God?

   I want to be a Man. When I say that i'm not being weird or perverted, but I to be want someone who is considered a Man; not a "boy," not a "pansy," not a "guy," but a Man. Most of my life I have seen that as something that is big and gnarly and "macho." Honestly I have almost built a picture of Rambo representing masculinity.

   I am fairly convinced that that perception is wrong and un-biblical. Don't get me wrong, I for sure want to be a warrior in my King's army but I am beginning to realize that the most effective warrior's weren't the one's who went in with gun's blazing. Those kind (a) don't seem to live very long [the "live by the sword die by the sword" bit] and (b) don't generally leave much of a legacy except for that of hate.

   Like I said a moment ago, I want to be a Man. However I think I want to add a stipulation to that. I want to be a Man of God. So with that is mind I am beginning to look at what God has to say about His men. There is only one man in all of history who was called a man after God's own heart, his name was David (and he's been dead for a really long time). David was called to be the king of Israel after its first king disobeyed God. When God sent the Prophet Samuel to a man named Jesse, Jesse brought his sons to Samuel. God had told Samuel that the future king was amongst Jesse's sons and when the eldest (who was "great of stature and strong of arm") was brought God rejected him saying that the outside is not as important as the heart. Finally Jesse called his youngest son in from the fields and the only physical compliment that was paid to him was that he had rosy cheeks - yet it was was he who was chosen to be king, and he who was called a man after God's heart.

   David was a shepherd and a poet. He was a man who was courageous and yet avoided bloodshed when possible. He was man who hated who he was in his sin and had faith that the Lord would cleanse him. He was a man who sang when he was joyful and wept (he was okay with crying) when he was in sorrow. David was by no means perfect but he sought the Lord even when he knew he had sinned, he didn't try to hide his mistake - he stood up, apologized, and took his punishment. He was considered a great warrior, yet he spared the life of the man who would not have done the same for him (Saul).

  In the Gospels the son of the God of the universe served all before Himself even to the point of sacrificing Himself for a race that spurned Him and His gift. He walked through hell so others wouldn't have to do so. That is courage.

   In the New Testament (the only time I can remember gender roles being separated) men are told to be leaders and to love. We are not told to be macho or strong, we are told to love. Gosh, I really can't think of a way our culture could be more wrong about masculinity.

So, applying this to my life....

   Well, like David I want to be a poet (a man who can use words better than a weapon). I want to be unashamed of showing emotion be it laughter and singing or tears. I want to be honest with myself and God, repentant in my sin and be willing to receive the consequences. I want to learn to avoid "battle" when possible but be courageous and unwavering in the Truth when it is not. I want to be a loving leader who will always sacrifice himself in order to protect others whether they deserve protecting or not. I want to be a son in whom God is well pleased.