Thoughts...it's almost like whenever I have down-time my mind ends up busier than when I have something to do. Being sick is one of the most underrated and over-complained about events in life. I will admit that in the middle of the illness, it pretty much sucks. However there is generally a few days on either end that nobody wants you around, because they're afraid of catching whatever you have, but you feel well enough to be doing something. That "buffer-time" allows for, in my opinion, some of the most amazing hours of quiet and thought. For about last day-and-half I've been blessed with such time.
This last day I have really been thinking a lot about what it means to live for Christ in my generation. Those thoughts always bring with them the "what if's" of having lived in a different time; but as Tolkien says "It is not our to choose what time is given us. All we have to decide is what to do with that time." So I wonder, what am I to do with this mess of an epoch that I've been given. Well, I sort of pseudo-wonder because God has told me what to do...it's just that I don't always have the strength or desire to follow His direction. Anyway, the thing that He laid on my heart yesterday evening and this morning is that following Him is as simple as being chill with not always doing what I want. I guess that I never really tried to break down what my job in our relationship was, and when I did He showed me that it is the same as any other relationship I have on Earth: I have to think of Him before I do myself. When my day centered around putting Him first I am living for Him, I think that's kinda what Jesus was talking about with the whole "abiding" thing in John 14. I think that in Eden living with God in the forefront of their minds was as natural as breathing, but after the Fall an element of battle entered the relationship. Now we have to fight to keep Him is His place; we have to fight our sin nature and we have to fight "the rulers and principalities of this present darkness." When I think about battle I think of the swords and spears kind of battle in the Middle Ages. That kind of battle really made it absolutely pointless to fight by one's self because it was so easy to become overwhelmed. I think that spiritual battle is much the same. So when I think back over all the most successful armies, they were those who fought in a line with order and discipline. Every man relied on the man to his right and left equally as much as he relied on himself, and if he were about to be overwhelmed he knew that his comrade's swords would be there to help free him up. So I guess the whole point to all that is that living everyday for Christ is freakin' hard to do by myself. I figure that if I can be reliable for my brothers and sisters in Christ and can rely upon them we will be able to Hold the Line each day, let go of our agendas, and live for our savior.
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