Training Pains

Sometimes the days when I am at my very worst are the days I feel closest to the Lord. Today I felt like I kept getting knocked down, but the beauty of it was that I also felt like someone kept standing me back up. I am exhausted, the kind of exhausted where you wake up in the morning with your daily headache. But honestly, being tired isn't so bad. There is something satisfying about being tired from busyness. It's kinda like the acceptable price for productivity. Today was just a different animal altogether.

I was up early this morning because my brother and I share a car and he had to clock-in at 0700. I am not, and probably never will be, a morning person, so this was a heavy hit (though not really a knock down punch) to start the day. From there, things deteriorated so quickly that by 1100 I realized that it was just gonna be one of those days. 

I don't say all this to lament the day itself (that's what my journal is for), but rather to tell a little bit about how amazing our God is. With each successive down turn He met me with a scripture and a little bit more energy to get back up again. He never just gave me a huge energy jump to power through the day, but he was there each time I got hit to lift me up again and set me straight. He provided me with just enough will-power and stamina to stand up one more time; that is an amazing God. 

I suppose my praise is two-fold this evening, well perhaps three-fold (the day is at an end). The first and most amazing praise is that I have God and savior who cares to stand so close beside me that He is right there to pick me up. That thought really is astounding! The second thing is that He still allowed me get knocked down. He didn't block or soften the blows, but He let me take them and learn from my mistakes. 

I think of a master swordsman training a page. The master doesn't go easy when he is teaching the page to use a sword, rather he uses a wooden (non-lethal) weapon and hits hard so the page will develop good technique and quick responses. Throughout time pain has been on of the most effective tools a teacher can use. This is evident in everything from parenting to warfare; people tend to not repeat painful errors.

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1:2-4

This verse was difficult for me for a long time, and will most likely remain difficult for the rest of my life. However, I think my King gave me a glimpse into its meaning today. He is not saying to rejoice because something hurts, he is saying to rejoice that the King has seen fit to stand by your side and train you. Training is painful, but it speaks of trust from one's authorities. Officers/Kings don't train men they don't intend to use. It is upon this thought and truth that I stand when my days become their very hardest. I cling to the fact that pain means He will eventually think me qualified for a mission in His battle-plan.

I want to be His warrior. So I stand firmly in Christ's blood as my own mixes with His on the floor. He gave His life so I could fight from His corner, and He continues to lift me back up. Why on earth would I want to stop swinging?