Family First

It is always so interesting the things that make the mind go into overdrive. Sometimes it is the way the sunshine filters through the leaves as a summer breeze rustles them and flickers the changing light, and sometimes it is something as simple as a strain of soft music, and sometimes it is something as un-poetic as  a movie quote.

Last night a few of the guys and I watched the movie "The Patriot" with Mel Gibson and Heath Ledger. I wasn't really paying all that much attention to the beginning, as I have seen the movie before and I knew roughly what was happening. My attention was caught by a change in the sound volume right before the scene cut to the South Carolina assembly. The scene opens with an introduction of a colonel from the Continental Army who briefly explains the predicament of the Continental Army and the American war effort, concluding by asking for SC to pass a levy for an SC State Militia. When he finishes, a few of the assemblymen volley the debate back and forth for a moment. Benjamin Martin (Mel Gibson) stands and begins to advocate pacifism he finally says, "I will not fight, and because I won't, I will not cast a vote that will send others to fight in my stead." The Colonel immediately challenges and asks, "And your principals?" To which Martin replies:

"I am a parent, I haven't got the luxury of principals!"

This line really struck me. At first I thought as many of the other characters did that Martin had been so scarred by his last encounter with warfare that he simply sought an excuse to not participate. However, upon more careful consideration I realized  a part of the equation that I was missing--though it is blindingly obvious throughout the rest of the movie. Martin's first responsibility was to his family. He valued the unity and the safety of his family above his own desire to have a free nation. He is the only parent left to his children and they are more important to him than his own peace of mind.

He eventually attacks the British after one of his sons has died at their hand and another is en route to be hanged. He rescues his captive son and takes the rest of his children to safety before he begins to fight. Throughout the movie he continues to emphasize the duty to family first and the cause second. Tragically I think that is something that has been lost in our culture.

The very first type of community that God created was family, even relationship with in the Trinity is defined in familial terms. Clearly family is important to our Lord.

I personally have been learning a lot about loving my family well and making sure that they come first. I am beginning to realize that without that support network life is just harder. I am by no means free from the cultural influence of individualism and the temptation to turn my back on my family as Gabriel does in the movie. The interesting thing that the movie shows (unique among it's fellows) is that Gabriel ends up regretting his abandonment of his family and admits his error to his father. But, I digress. I think that it is our responsibility as the upcoming generation to make family important again. Our parents' influence can only go so far in the upcoming years and decades; these next years belong to us. The way that we treat our parents and siblings now is indicative of how we will raise our families in the next years, and I for one want my family to be solid and strong, and for their commitment to be...Family First.

Battling Monotony

Monotony--have you ever thought about where that word comes from? I love words, and discovering where a word comes from gives it so much more meaning. Monotony was originally a musical term for a measure or a group of measures that repeated the same note. "Mono," = one, and "tony," = pertaining to a musical note. Understanding the origin of that word make one realize the absolute tragedy of describing one's life in those terms. By saying that my life is monotonous, I am saying that intricacy of the melody that makes up my life has become dull and redundant.

My life often feels like it is just floating past me and I'm watching from the outside as someone else walks and talks and laughs. I think this is just my own apathy binding me to watch as I am unsuccessful at task after task. This apathy creeps into me and then the routine of every day begins to feel monotonous. I think the thing the Lord has been showing me for the last few days is that routine does not have to be monotonous--a strong rhythm in a song only makes it that much more inspiring. However if I allow apathy to color each day, the melody will begin to play the same note, over and over again. That is monotony.

I am told to do two things each morning. First, I am told to pick up my cross and follow Jesus Christ. Second, I am told to seek the kingdom of God and everything else will be added to my day. Neither one of these tasks are things I can do apathetically, they require a conscious act of will and and super-natural strength and stamina. Me, I don't have either super-strength or super-stamina...oh well. However, I am promised that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" That's a pretty big promise, and not one that I take lightly. Breaking a monotonous strain of music takes a master--which I am not. But Christ-who-strengthens-me is a master to dwarf all others. Music was His masterpiece before the stars glittered and sun shone.

The lesson I have been taught in the last few days is that breaking monotony is as simple and complicated as seeking the Kingdom and bearing my cross--Jesus does the song writing from there. Once I choose to follow my King and lay aside my apathy, the beautiful complexity of the melody of my life spirals heavenward once again. The beauty of the music is only accented by the consistent rhythm of each day.

A Man of God?

   I want to be a Man. When I say that i'm not being weird or perverted, but I to be want someone who is considered a Man; not a "boy," not a "pansy," not a "guy," but a Man. Most of my life I have seen that as something that is big and gnarly and "macho." Honestly I have almost built a picture of Rambo representing masculinity.

   I am fairly convinced that that perception is wrong and un-biblical. Don't get me wrong, I for sure want to be a warrior in my King's army but I am beginning to realize that the most effective warrior's weren't the one's who went in with gun's blazing. Those kind (a) don't seem to live very long [the "live by the sword die by the sword" bit] and (b) don't generally leave much of a legacy except for that of hate.

   Like I said a moment ago, I want to be a Man. However I think I want to add a stipulation to that. I want to be a Man of God. So with that is mind I am beginning to look at what God has to say about His men. There is only one man in all of history who was called a man after God's own heart, his name was David (and he's been dead for a really long time). David was called to be the king of Israel after its first king disobeyed God. When God sent the Prophet Samuel to a man named Jesse, Jesse brought his sons to Samuel. God had told Samuel that the future king was amongst Jesse's sons and when the eldest (who was "great of stature and strong of arm") was brought God rejected him saying that the outside is not as important as the heart. Finally Jesse called his youngest son in from the fields and the only physical compliment that was paid to him was that he had rosy cheeks - yet it was was he who was chosen to be king, and he who was called a man after God's heart.

   David was a shepherd and a poet. He was a man who was courageous and yet avoided bloodshed when possible. He was man who hated who he was in his sin and had faith that the Lord would cleanse him. He was a man who sang when he was joyful and wept (he was okay with crying) when he was in sorrow. David was by no means perfect but he sought the Lord even when he knew he had sinned, he didn't try to hide his mistake - he stood up, apologized, and took his punishment. He was considered a great warrior, yet he spared the life of the man who would not have done the same for him (Saul).

  In the Gospels the son of the God of the universe served all before Himself even to the point of sacrificing Himself for a race that spurned Him and His gift. He walked through hell so others wouldn't have to do so. That is courage.

   In the New Testament (the only time I can remember gender roles being separated) men are told to be leaders and to love. We are not told to be macho or strong, we are told to love. Gosh, I really can't think of a way our culture could be more wrong about masculinity.

So, applying this to my life....

   Well, like David I want to be a poet (a man who can use words better than a weapon). I want to be unashamed of showing emotion be it laughter and singing or tears. I want to be honest with myself and God, repentant in my sin and be willing to receive the consequences. I want to learn to avoid "battle" when possible but be courageous and unwavering in the Truth when it is not. I want to be a loving leader who will always sacrifice himself in order to protect others whether they deserve protecting or not. I want to be a son in whom God is well pleased.

Holding the Line to Live with Christ

   Thoughts...it's almost like whenever I have down-time my mind ends up busier than when I have something to do. Being sick is one of the most underrated and over-complained about events in life. I will admit that in the middle of the illness, it pretty much sucks. However there is generally a few days on either end that nobody wants you around, because they're afraid of catching whatever you have, but you feel well enough to be doing something. That "buffer-time" allows for, in my opinion, some of the most amazing hours of quiet and thought. For about last day-and-half I've been blessed with such time.

   This last day I have really been thinking a lot about what it means to live for Christ in my generation. Those thoughts always bring with them the "what if's" of having lived in a different time; but as Tolkien says "It is not our to choose what time is given us. All we have to decide is what to do with that time." So I wonder, what am I to do with this mess of an epoch that I've been given. Well, I sort of pseudo-wonder because God has told me what to do...it's just that I don't always have the strength or desire to follow His direction. Anyway, the thing that He laid on my heart yesterday evening and this morning is that following Him is as simple as being chill with not always doing what I want. I guess that I never really tried to break down what my job in our relationship was, and when I did He showed me that it is the same as any other relationship I have on Earth: I have to think of Him before I do myself. When my day centered around putting Him first I am living for Him, I think that's kinda what Jesus was talking about with the whole "abiding" thing in John 14. I think that in Eden living with God in the forefront of their minds was as natural as breathing, but after the Fall an element of battle entered the relationship. Now we have to fight to keep Him is His place; we have to fight our sin nature and we have to fight "the rulers and principalities of this present darkness." When I think about battle I think of the swords and spears kind of battle in the Middle Ages. That kind of battle really made it absolutely pointless to fight by one's self because it was so easy to become overwhelmed. I think that spiritual battle is much the same. So when I think back over all the most successful armies, they were those who fought in a line with order and discipline. Every man relied on the man to his right and left equally as much as he relied on himself, and if he were about to be overwhelmed he knew that his comrade's swords would be there to help free him up. So I guess the whole point to all that is that living everyday for Christ is freakin' hard to do by myself. I figure that if I can be reliable for my brothers and sisters in Christ and can rely upon them we will be able to Hold the Line each day, let go of our agendas, and live for our savior.